The Last Goodbye…To Myself!

Hello people,

I know I have never been around here for long but today I am here to tell Goodbye to everybody. Because I am leaving…this life forever. I have had enough. I never showed my pain or told about how unhappy I am with myself, with this life. People see me, see my posts and the way I behave and all and they think how happy I am and that’s true in a way. I have Alhamdullilah everything I need in life to survive. But is only survival enough? Is it not about the lifestyle we follow? Let me rephrase. Is it not about the healthy lifestyle we follow?

Since childhood I have had weight issues. I was always on the healthier side. But never been unhealthy. I mean in appearance I looked the chubby chubby bubbly girl but I was always active. I participated in sports, played all kinds of stuff that involved physical activity. And most importantly I was happy. Childhood had been awesome. We got to travel a lot. Every three years we would shift because of my dad’s job. It was nice. Going to some new place, meeting new people and starting all over again. Then we shifted here, to Hyderabad. I was happy in the beginning as I always am. It has been almost 10 years now and we are still here. Life is kind of becoming stagnant here. One- the place is stagnant and other my weight is stagnant and with bonus is un-healthiness and a jobless life. The thing I am most scared of in life is Stagnancy. And my life is just that right now.

So yeah… all I am saying is I am no Amitabh Bachchan of “Mohabbatein”  jisko “Parivartan pasand nahi”. I need parivartan man. I don’t want it but I need it. As oxygen is important to survive, just like that for me parivartan-The Change is also important. And I don’t believe I have been living like this from a long time and I did not realise it too. When I was in college I would think “I’ll be doing this” and “I’ll be doing that” and that’s what I had thought when I was planning to leave my job. Now it’s been like more than one week and I am still sitting at home doing nothing but watching movies all day long and munching on whatever is “edible”. This is not something I had seen myself doing at this point of my life.

The thing is I love myself. It’s like “Main apni favourite hun”. I may not be the perfect lady but I truly love myself and I just can’t see myself being wasted like this. So I have decided it’s high time that I change. Now I can’t do much about the stagnancy of the place but I can surely do something which is in my hand. The plan is all set and all I need is some good luck wishes. Just hope I get what I am looking for. I’ll keep updated about the plan. Not daily but hopefully it’ll be weekly.

So wish me all the luck in the world.

Till then..Au Revoir