Potatoes Growing On Your Bum?!

These days I am officially jobless. You would ask why officially jobless and why not just jobless? So the thing is jobless means being totally jobless [read vella] and I am not jobless. I do various jobs throughout the day, just that I don’t get paid for them and hence officially jobless! So here are some of the snippets from a normal day.

9.00 am: I am snoring away to glory when my sister comes and asks me what we are going to have for breakfast as my brother has come over and we need to make something special. Our daily fruit loops or honey loops just won’t do. She suggests making ‘puris’ and when I finally succeeded in opening my eyes, she turns around and leaves. Baby jab pata hee tha toh mujhe jagaya kyun?! [Reference: Himalaya ad].

10.00 am: A big mountain of puris welcome me when I come to the living room. I am shocked because it was supposed to be a breakfast for 2 people, not 20. I make them eat the same in the afternoon and for the dinner. I am sure my sister has hidden the rest somewhere but “Hey puri, I am gonna find you and feed you to her”.

11.30 am: At the gym, I am running like a headless chicken [read a fat headless chicken] on the treadmill with sweat dripping from each and every pore and hair sticking to my face. Ok all in all I was an ugly sight to watch. Listening to “Raita phail gaya” from the new movie Shaandaar I was dreaming of biryani when this hot girl wearing a bright red ganji and black slacks comes and stands on the treadmill beside me. I had never seen her before in the gym so I look towards her and notice she has put on bright red lipstick, lots of kohl and her hair is totally straight, not a strand out of place. She takes out her phone, takes a ton of selfies, and walks on the treadmill for like 2mins and moves to the other machines. Later I came to know she was there for a demo class because of course I never saw her again. The pains people go through to get those perfect selfies, I feel you.

Now the things I hate about going to a gym.

1)      1)There’s always this girl who would come to you and say “When I had joined the gym I was just like you. You should also diet along with working out, only that’s when you will see the difference. You don’t worry, you will also look like me if you continue”.

In my head I am like “Babes if I am going to look like you even after working so hard then I better be fat and happy”.

2)    2)  The trainer and her obsession with eggs. The diet she has given me contains so many eggs that I doubt she has a poultry farm somewhere and soon she is going to reveal her “yolk secret”.

3)     3) The person selling you Herbal life. So this person comes to you and talks oh so sweetly and soon you’ll know the reason behind the “oh so sweetness”.

4.30 pm: I make some delicious Kolkata styles puchkas and have upto 15 while making it. I am such a good cook and there goes all my mehnat at the gym.

7.30 pm: Watching C.I.D with bro and sis when I tell my sis to come and massage my sore shoulders. She sits on the sofa handle and starts massaging. After some time she tells her bum is paining sitting on the hard wood, so I tell her to get a cushion and sit over it. [During childhood, mum used to scare us saying various things just to make us behave properly. One of those things was potatoes growing on our bum if we sit on cushions or on pillows. And she used to tell that in such a serious tone that even today we refrain from sitting on them though the reason behind her saying that was probably not to mess up the setting of the place.] So my sister gave me the same reason that she cannot sit on the cushion. So I told her “Hey don’t worry about it. Waise bhi ghar pe aloo nahi hai, we can pluck some from your bum for the pav bhaji I am going to make tomorrow”.

If only...

If only there was somebody to talk to
If only there was someone you would listen to...
If only there was somebody to share your darkest secrets with
If only there was somebody who would still be with you...
If only there was somebody who would sing you songs in the most pathetic voice just to see the smile on you face
If only there was somebody who would pamper you...
If only there was somebody who would give you a red rose every day
If only there was somebody who would sleep beside you and look at the stars above...
If only there was somebody who would make you smile and cry too
If only there was somebody would love you...unconditionally

I guess hardly anybody visits this blog... So it has sort of become like my personal diary where I can write anything I want to :D
And my "If only" sayings would continue...

Thanks if you have been here. :)

The Love Story- Part 2

Hi guys. If you haven't read the previous part you can go to this link and read it.

http://www.tazztalks.blogspot.in/2013/04/a-part-of-my-story-i-mean-story-written.html

Its been two years since that post and I know it shows the kind of laze-ball I am. So here is the next part and hopefully I wont take that longer to post the third part. :P

“OK fine. Tell me. Tell me what you want to know?” she almost yelled at him.

“You know what I want to know. Why have been acting strange since that day? You never answered my question and avoided me for so long unless until now when you needed help. What do you think I am? A doormat?” Ryan shouted at her but then looking at her petrified face he softened a bit. “Sahar that day was one of the most special days I ever had. It was perfect. No, actually it could have been perfect if you had not run away like a maniac. What had got into you? Possessed or something?”

“Oh shut up Ryan. It would have been the perfect day for me too if your ex had not come down knocking at my door a day before. All right??” Sahar now had tears in her eyes. It was the most beautiful day for her. She wished it had a perfect ending too.

It had been raining the whole night. Everything looked clean and beautifully fresh the next morning. Ryan hoped it doesn’t rain again and wished for a pleasant weather the whole day. He wanted this day to be perfect.

Meanwhile Sahar was sceptical about going out with Ryan today. Especially when she had had that conversation with his ex and her best friend, Alia, the last day. She wanted to refuse going out with Ryan but when he called her in the morning and sounded so happy and excited, she dint have the heart to say him no and she confirmed the time and place that is the bus stop near her place where he would pick her up from.

It had begun to drizzle a little when he came to pick her up at 11 in the morning. He wore the classic white shirt with blue jeans and beige loafers which was gifted by Sahar. His hair was let off from any kind of gel or wax which he opted for usually and were a bit unruly. He knew Sahar always liked the casual look. You would dress up in a high-end suit with your hair standing to straight without moving a bit and face totally clean of any stubble and moisturized and Sahar would give one of her many expressions that would clearly say that she is not impressed. He had been there, done that. So he knew better now.

He recognized her neon green colored umbrella from a long distance. As he neared her, he saw what she was wearing. She had worn a lilac colored chiffon maxi with a thin brown belt and the same colored boots. She had kept her dark brown hair open with minimal makeup and a dash of pink lipstick. “One brown hat and she would be walking the Paris streets without a care in the world” he thought as he stopped the car in front of her. She got in.

“Hey”

“Hey”

“You look beautiful”

“You too”

“What? Beautiful?”

“No… I mean handsome. I mean you look good” Sahar stuttered a bit.

“Oh k. Thanks.” Ryan smiled charmingly and started driving.

Sahar shifted her focus from the dimpled smile of Ryan and looked out through the window. She loved Ryan. She loved him more than she admitted to herself and others. She had been the happiest girl in the world grinning widely at anybody and everybody till the day before tomorrow. She knew he loved her too. But yesterday something had happened after which she wasn’t sure anymore.

They had a small conversation while in the car. He asked her if she had had her breakfast which she said yes to because she dint have an explanation to give him as to why not? They soon reached an open air restaurant which was pretty much empty at this time. They sat down at a table which was a bit away from the other tables. Ryan pulled out a chair for her. Sahar suspected something was up, but this is something Ryan always does and it was something she was attracted to him for. She wondered if this is the day she had been waiting for. But now she wasn’t sure anymore. “Please God, don’t let him propose to me now. Please.” She prayed.

“Is everything ok?” Ryan asked. He had been noticing that she was unusually quiet. He wondered if she knew what he has planned out and maybe that’s why she looked a bit lost.

“Ah yes… yes all’s fine.” She came into her senses.

Ryan ordered all her favorites. She was almost sure in her mind that he is going to propose her. Those loving looks from him conveyed that anytime he would be popping up the question. They had their lunch with minimum talk. She was a bit startled when the violinists came up to their table and started playing a soft tune. She started eying Ryan but he was totally at ease, having his food and smiling at her occasionally and talking to her very normally just like how he would usually do. Sahar dint finish her juice for fear of finding a ring at the pit of the glass. She even eyed Ryan suspiciously when put his hand into the pocket to take out his wallet, for a moment she thought a jewellery box would come out of his pocket but it did not thankfully.

Though she had uneasiness going on in her mind, she was having a good time with Ryan. She loved him. He was the one she had dreamt of all the time and how happy she was to find him.

They talked for a long time about everything under the sun and still they thought there is a lot more to discuss. Be it Ryan’s younger sister Ruhi running into trouble with her parents or Sahar’s elder sister coming down from abroad for a vacation. The conversation went on and they realized it that they had already spend a lot of time there when they the place bustling with people. Ryan got up and held a hand for her. She kept her hand on his and everything seemed perfect.

They went to beach for a long walk along the waves. Sahar loves these long walks at the beach and Ryan was happy seeing Sahar happy. She meant the world to him and he knew she was the one for whom he could go to any lengths.

It started getting dark when Ryan said “Hey lets go to the mall. I wanted to buy you something”.

“But why? It’s not my birthday or anything. Let’s just stay here na. It’s such a beautiful weather out here. I don’t want to go to any mall.” Sahar said. She really dint want to leave the beach and also there was the fear constantly nagging her that what would Ryan be up-to?

The Last Goodbye…To Myself!

Hello people,

I know I have never been around here for long but today I am here to tell Goodbye to everybody. Because I am leaving…this life forever. I have had enough. I never showed my pain or told about how unhappy I am with myself, with this life. People see me, see my posts and the way I behave and all and they think how happy I am and that’s true in a way. I have Alhamdullilah everything I need in life to survive. But is only survival enough? Is it not about the lifestyle we follow? Let me rephrase. Is it not about the healthy lifestyle we follow?

Since childhood I have had weight issues. I was always on the healthier side. But never been unhealthy. I mean in appearance I looked the chubby chubby bubbly girl but I was always active. I participated in sports, played all kinds of stuff that involved physical activity. And most importantly I was happy. Childhood had been awesome. We got to travel a lot. Every three years we would shift because of my dad’s job. It was nice. Going to some new place, meeting new people and starting all over again. Then we shifted here, to Hyderabad. I was happy in the beginning as I always am. It has been almost 10 years now and we are still here. Life is kind of becoming stagnant here. One- the place is stagnant and other my weight is stagnant and with bonus is un-healthiness and a jobless life. The thing I am most scared of in life is Stagnancy. And my life is just that right now.

So yeah… all I am saying is I am no Amitabh Bachchan of “Mohabbatein”  jisko “Parivartan pasand nahi”. I need parivartan man. I don’t want it but I need it. As oxygen is important to survive, just like that for me parivartan-The Change is also important. And I don’t believe I have been living like this from a long time and I did not realise it too. When I was in college I would think “I’ll be doing this” and “I’ll be doing that” and that’s what I had thought when I was planning to leave my job. Now it’s been like more than one week and I am still sitting at home doing nothing but watching movies all day long and munching on whatever is “edible”. This is not something I had seen myself doing at this point of my life.

The thing is I love myself. It’s like “Main apni favourite hun”. I may not be the perfect lady but I truly love myself and I just can’t see myself being wasted like this. So I have decided it’s high time that I change. Now I can’t do much about the stagnancy of the place but I can surely do something which is in my hand. The plan is all set and all I need is some good luck wishes. Just hope I get what I am looking for. I’ll keep updated about the plan. Not daily but hopefully it’ll be weekly.

So wish me all the luck in the world.

Till then..Au Revoir 

What All Changed From 2014 to 2015

First thing I am now the proud owner of Lenovo Yoga8 tab. Yeah I know i am kinda showing off but hai toh hai :p
I got a new laptop gifted by my sis :D What a stroke of luck I had?! Here I was into depression how to get a new laptop because basically I earn peanuts!! I have no credit cards to take it on EMI. And I really needed the laptop because of reasons I cant disclose now ;) Just when I was all planning and plotting on how to acquire a laptop, my sis calls me up and tells that my bro in law is coming to India and she's going to send me one through him.
"Khwaishen aisi bhi puri hoti hai" :p
She also sent a cool Sony headset :D Luv ya sis :*
And then it was the New Year eve and all my close friends were out partying somewhere after office. Yes I had to work on that day and also on Jan 1st. Tough life!!
I was really upset thinking what to do. I dint want to go home so early and watch t.v with a tub of icecream on my lap. Something clicked and I went to Jawed Habibs and got a brand new haircut. My mum still doesnt know about it. If she finds out I am gonna say "Kuch toh naya karna tha naye saal ke liye" :p
So yeah that was the materialistic part I am done with!
Few things which I realised and changed:
1) Love shove business is just not my thing[not that I was into any] Maybe the time wasnt right or the person?! But yeah I am gonna stay happily single[always have been] till I really really find "the guy" :p I am not gonna get carried away by friends who are into relationships with all due respect. But I really need to do few things for myself before thinking about something or somebody else.
2) Made a long Resolutions list [nahh not a long list,just few tough stuff]. The list I cant tell but In Sha Allah I ll fulfill them.
3)Stop thinking too much into stuff going around me. Just take it easy and stay happy :)
4) I am gonna carry on with all my hobbies I had left after I started working. I will take out time for it and do it!
5)Be kind to everybody!
Yeah thats all I can remember as of now. I'll update if something's added to the list ;)
Till then C ya
God Bless!! Cheers and Muuaahhs to all!! :D

Things I Wanna Do While Still Single [Bollywood Edition]

Initially it wasn't supposed to be a bollywood edition. It was just the things I wanted to do but as I started jotting down points I realised how heavily Bollywood inspired thay are. Pata nai kab Bollywood ne itna kuch sikha diya :p
Few of the things i would be writing would look plain simple to few girls because they must have already done it or it must be their routine life. But for somebody like me coming from a kinda conservative family its a big thing.
So here are the points..
1) Explore Explore Explore different places all by myself with a rucksack on my shoulder. Try out all the exotic food..yumm.
2) Go to Egypt. Travel around with the dancers and learn Belly dancing. A highly impossible task I know but hey you can always Dream. Its free ;)
3)Live independently in a new city. Do all the things on my own- cleaning, cooking washing etc etc and ofcourse with a job I love. Get a picture in the head like Konkona Sen's life in Wake up Sid, just that I dont want any Sid!!
4) Go to Goa with a bunch of close friends and get drunk. Yet again an impossible thing to do. Something I myself wouldn't do. But still you can just let your imagination run wild sometimes. On condition that its just the imagination running wild not you :p
5) Free fall from some tall buildings and stuff like they showed in NDTV Goodtimes.
6) Visit a haunted place. Such a haunted place where you feel safe but you know its haunted. Yeah I know its tough for somebody like me who cant stop shouting out of terror in those funny scary houses... but hey I can try!!
7) Meet John Abrahammm.... Its not I like love him or something. I like SRK too but just once I want to meet John Abraham. I dont want anything else. I'll just take a selfie with him and cherish it all my life. Haahhh he's dreamy!!
8) Dance. Just break into any kind of dance in public and see how people react to it.
P.s I dance like shit in case you are wondering!!
9) I want to travel in truck through all the highways of India just like Alia did in Highway. Its always been my dream to travel in truck on the seat beside the driver's. It looks so comfy comfy. And I have also heard truck drivers get to encounter a lot of paranormal stuff!!
10) Run in a bridal wear with a black leather jacket on through the busy traffic wale roads. This has been my dream since long but the leather jacket thing i added from the movie Anjaana Anjaani. I always think that I would just shout out loud "Qubool nahi hai" and grab my jacket and make a dash.

I know kinda stupid it was. Few more points I may add later or not. Too lazy to maintain a blog and I dream of exploring the world?! Great!

Why Don't I Have A Boyfriend?

Recently many people have started asking me if I have a boyfriend. I don't know why. Maybe I have started looking better these days [Nah, I am just warming the couch in front of the T.V all day and looking like potato these days]

So yeah, when questions like this happened I seriously wondered Why Don't I Have A Boyfriend?
Its not like I am scared of this boyfriend-girlfriend thingy. I think its pretty cool to have a boyfriend and stuff and I totally support people who are in a relationship. Be it any kind of relationship- live in, gay, lesbian. bisexual or whatever other kinds they have. Guys you have my total support. Buts its just that I am not a part of it and would not like to be either.

Here I have jotted down some points as to why I do not have a boyfriend and why I may not have a boyfriend?

1. I am Fat.. Some guys may like fat girls. But Hey! Where are you all "Some Guys'?
2. I say anything  to anyone in front of anybody without thinking twice. So I have this feeling that some boys are sort of scared of me.
3. I get bored really soon. I need something new each day. So it would take a really interesting person to get there. "Hey Mr.Interesting are you reading this?"
4. I am a very, very moody person. I would be all smiling at once and before you know I would be spitting fire.I don't know how my family and friends tolerate me but yes they do. So Thank You.
5. I do not get impressed easily. It would take much more than good looks to impress me as in well-dressed, well-spoken, good sense of humor and the list goes on till eternity.
6. I am scared. Because if there has to be somebody he has to be forever. I would never want this "few days or few weeks or few months wala love!" As it is said "If its not forever, its not Love"-Durjoy Datta.
7. Though I love to read Mills and Boons and watch all kind of romantic stuff, I am a scared kitten in reality.
8. My parents would never allow me to have a boyfriend. [This should have been the first point because this is the most important one] They would just 'bedakhal me from the khandaan'. LOL. But I am sure if its the right kind of person they would have no problems. But "Hey where are you Mr.Right Guy?"

And if you are not the right kind of a person and you come to me with the "timepass intention" then this is the face you would see.